


if you want to know how close I've ever come

by helsinkibaby



Category: The Following
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Community: 1_million_words, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:11:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike proposes to Debra. It doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you want to know how close I've ever come

**Author's Note:**

> I read about the deleted scene from the season two opener and rewrote it as this in my head. The word of the day "question" had me wrote it down.

Mike hadn't know quite what reaction  to expect when he proposed to Debra. She's not the type for big displays of emotion, so he's been thinking along the lines of a small smile, a hug, maybe just a kiss. 

He'd certainly been expecting a yes. 

The look of horror on her face is something of a surprise, as is the shake of her head when she turns away muttering, "Get up. Please. Please"

Frowning, he raises himself up from one knee, snaps the small square box closed as he does so. "Deb?" 

It's another question but this one she appears to be ready for. She pushes her hair back away from her face, takes a deep breath. She smiles but it's the worst one he's ever seen from her, more a grimace, and it doesn't come close to reaching her eyes. 

"This can't be a surprise to you," he says slowly. "Deb, we've been together two years...we've lived together for the last eleven months. Where did you think this was heading?"

Already pale, even more colour leeches out of Debra's face. "I'm really bad at..." she begins but over two years he's hears this more than once, can cut that particular argument off at the pass. 

"Relationships, I know, you've told me." He steps towards her, feels his heart sink when she takes a step back. "But the thing is? You're not. Not with me." Tears swim in her eyes and he can feel the back of his throat begin to tighten but he keeps on going. He's beginning to feel like he's in a fight for his life, the life he wants at any rate, and he has no intention of losing. "I know there's stuff you haven't told me... I know about the nightmares, I know you thought you were better off alone...but I've spent two years proving you wrong. I thought I'd made some pretty decent headway."

A single tear spills down her cheek. "You had," she whispers and he chooses to ignore the past tense. 

"Then tell me why you can't say yes."

Debra closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she stands that way for a long moment, he goes to her, takes her hands in his. They are freezing. 

"I can't," she finally whispers, opening her eyes as more tears spill out. He doesn't know if that means she can't say yes or she can't tell him why not, but when her fingers close around his, when she holds his hands tightly, when she speaks again, he's not so sure it matters. 

"I've never come this close..." she tells him. "And I wish I could... but if I could... you'd be the one."

Which is when Mike realises. 

She's holding his hands so tightly her knuckles are white, so tightly it's actually painful. 

She could have run away, run out the door - he remembers a couple of times, in the early days, when she did just that. 

But she stayed. And she's holding on to him. 

"Well," he says, pulling her against his chest and slipping his arms around her. "I guess that's a start."


End file.
